Where the Sky Meets the Sea
by BriteLife
Summary: Spencer's an EMT and Ash has a mysterious illness, can she save her?
1. Confinement

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

1: Confinement

"Aunty Spencer, look!" Blake grabbed my hand with one of his grubby little paws and yanked me toward the glowing blue tank, pointing at a gigantic shark that looked more than ready to eat my curious little two and a half year old nephew for dinner. His blond hair turned a shade of violet in the tank's luminescence (come to think of it, I'm sure mind did too) and blue leaked into the shadows and depressions of his face, hollowing them out and filling them with unfathomable color. I just gulped and tried to pull him toward the starfish exhibit again but he held on tight, tapping the glass despite all of the warnings he'd gotten all day not to do so.

"Stop it Blake, you're not supposed to do that!" I hissed, pointing at the signs and reading them aloud to him but he ignored me and I suddenly wished his father was here. As much as I hated my brother Glen, Blake definitely listened to him, which was a lot more than could be said for his poor sweet mother, an eighteen year old named McKenzie. She'd had him when she was sixteen and Glen was eighteen, he was off in Iraq through her whole pregnancy and even missed his son's birth, leaving me to be the designated Baby Daddy because my mom and dad both worked and Clay, my other brother, had been getting his bachelor's at the time.

Having him had forced Kenzie to drop out of school but she had just recently returned, and with Glen working nonstop at the local base I was the only one who took Blake out on little excursions such as this one, and who had to deal with him. He wasn't a bad kid _per se_ but with all the mixed messages he got from his parents, he was a little confused as to who was boss. For instance, it was currently 9:30 at night, and there was almost no one left in the whole building, but he insisted that it wasn't time to go home yet.

"Come on Sharky! Rarr!" He growled at the Bull shark, which seemed to growl right back and swim menacingly quickly up against the glass. Blake screamed with delight and jumped back, then went right on pestering the vicious animal.

"Blake, you're going to get in trouble!" I whispered. He just giggled again as the shark bumped up still harder against the glass and I began looking around for some kind of aquarium official who could tell him off sufficiently. I just couldn't bring myself to yell at him, I'd practically raised the bright-eyed toddler, and so he just could never quite take me seriously. My eyes had finally landed on some such blue-uniformed savant of all things marine when Blake suddenly let go of my hand and went cheerily running off in the opposite direction.

"Blake!" I took off after him, my feet pounding against the tiled floor, and soon I skidded to a stop, decidedly lost in the watery labyrinth that was the aquarium.

"Dammit!" I announced, spinning around on a heel and listening in vain for the sounds of little feet padding off somewhere. No such sound came and I started to panic, gunning for the tunnel that housed the exotic marine animals and hoping that he was in there. This was the exact reason that I hated taking Blake anywhere, he always seemed to slip out of my grasp and into trouble. I started to call out for him again, then stopped in my tracks. The blue shadows emanating from the tank had enveloped the one other person who was in here so completely that I nearly hadn't seen them. Time seemed to slow to a sluggish, drunk crawl as my eyes roved over her. She was a slim girl of maybe twenty, wrapped up in a frayed black coat with a multitude of brightly colored scarves tossed around her neck and wearing gloves that had had the fingertips chopped off none-too-precisely. A gray wool hat stretched over her head and the tops of her ears, and a beat up tan backpack hung over her shoulders, reaching toward her ripped up blue jeans and motorcycle boots that completed the ensemble.

The silence near us was so complete, save for the low hum of the filters and the beating of my heart in my ears, that I jumped when my cell phone trilled, time spinning back to normal progression as I flipped it open.

"H-hello?" I asked, praying that I wouldn't have to tell my military officer brother that I'd just lost his son…again.

"Hey Spencer, it's Kenzie." I deflated, then quickly went back to inwardly freaking out, praying that I wouldn't have to tell my military office brother's girlfriend that I just lost her son…_again_.

"I can't find Blake! He just ran off and--" I blurted but she stopped me with a soft laugh.

"Yeah he's right here, I came to pick him up and there he was, sitting in the gift shop waiting for you to find him."

"Dammit!" I said again, placing a hand over my fluttering heart. That kid, I swear he was determined to send me to an early grave. He couldn't at least give me a freaking heads up when he wanted to play hide and seek?!

"Is it alright if I take him home? Glen's kind of in a bad mood…" Kenzie started and I instantly felt for her, when Glen felt like being an asshole he could sure pull it off with flying colors.

"Sure, good night, and tell Blake I said I'm never taking him out again." I replied weakly. I could nearly feel her smile through the phone as she bade me the same and apologized for her rambunctious son and I felt even weaker, though for a different reason. Feeling sorry for myself, I dejectedly started for the tunnel exit, passing by the girl, then stopping.

I didn't do or say anything, just watched her for a moment. I quickly noticed that her hobo chic attire was much more chic than hobo, my eyes wandering over obscure labels and logos that only belonged to the most exclusive designers.

She was leaning against the thick glass of the rare fish tank, her hands on either side of her head and an intense look of concentration on her face. In front of her a single glowing fish wriggled, probably the last one who was still awake, and they looked to be engaged in deep conversation. I grinned and before I could help it, announced in a small voice,

"…there is glass there you know…" She looked at me then pulled slowly away from the tank as I took a step back, surprised that I hadn't gotten a disgusted look for my efforts.

"Don't ever let that stop you." She replied brightly in a voice that was slightly ragged around the edges and sent instant shivers down my spine.

"…do you always talk to the fish this late at night?" I asked abruptly, jamming my hands into my pockets. She tilted her head for a second, then nodded.

"It's the only time you can hear them, you know, when there aren't screaming kids around." She replied good-naturedly, pointing out a stain on my t-shirt, courtesy of Blake's peanut butter and banana sandwich from earlier.

"Oh." I said dully, all of my wit disappearing in a blast of embarrassment. She sighed suddenly and I looked up to find that she'd placed one of her hands on the tank again, which was now decidedly empty.

"He's gone." She said wistfully, then turned to me after a minute, brightening. "I can't actually talk to them you know, but wouldn't it be amazing if I could?" I merely smiled, not being quite sure how to answer, and she promptly stuck a gloved hand out.

"Ashley Davies." She greeted and I immediately reached out to shake the pro-offered hand, then marveled at the sparks that flew up and danced around our fingertips as they met in mid-air, wondering if I was the only one who could see them.

"S-Spencer Carlin." I replied once I could speak, which was once she took her hand away. We stared at each other for a second before a tiny pinging noise started to come from a tiny white and blue pager that seemed to be attached to her wrist.

"Ahh…the real world calls…" She declared in a low voice as a set of footsteps became audible just outside the tunnel. Those footsteps soon transformed into a tall, handsome young man dressed in slacks, a tie, and a shirt, with messy raven colored hair and a pair of horn rimmed glasses adorning his bright green eyes.

"I swear, I'm never taking you out again!" The young man declared and I was startled by how his announcement mirrored the one I'd just made to Kenzie about my rebellious nephew.

"I give you an hour out and look at you, you disappear for more than three. Dr. Paige is worried sick." He continued sternly, placing his hands on his hips. He seemed not to notice me, which, granted, most people didn't, but Ashley quickly remedied that.

"Mr. Dennison, my loyal caretaker, meet Ms. Carlin, my newfound partner in marine speech studies." I couldn't help but grin at her wacky introduction but Mr. Dennison didn't seem to find it too funny. In fact, he just gave me a barely perceptible nod by way of a greeting and reached forward to take Ashley's arm grumpily.

"Come on, you're late for your treatment." He said and I felt my brows furrow.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, besides, my parents pay by the hour so you can lay off." She snapped, snatching her arm back. "And for the record, I don't need your help." She added through gritted teeth. I watched the exchange curiously then was forced to wave goodbye as they left, leaving me all alone in the azure tunnel…

_tbc_

_r&r_


	2. Vital Signs

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

2: Vital Signs

"1, 2, 3, CLEAR!" I rubbed the paddles together frantically before pressing them to the man's bare chest, a shower of sparks reaching from the thin metal plates to penetrate his skin and singe his heart. I could tell from the monotonous sound coming from behind me though that he was still flat-lining and I desperately increased the voltage. The paddles crackled with anticipation as I counted down once more, the tension so thick in the tiny van that you could reach out and trace silly things into it if you wanted to.

"1, 2, 3, CLEAR!!" BANG!! The man's body jerked skyward before settling back onto the stretcher, twitching slightly, and after a moment of silence the machine spit out a wonderfully alternating instrumental that I recognized as the beating of his heart.

"We've got a steady pulse." Sean announced unnecessarily as I sat back, breathing hard. We were on site at a four car pile up that included a semi and a bus full of college kids and I was drained. My face was beet red, I was pouring sweat, and I'd been working for 14 hours straight, since 11 last night. I hated graveyard shifts, there were always more accidents, always more injuries, always more deaths…I was used to seeing the occasional broken arm from an intrepid kid or unlucky hockey player, not having people go into cardiac arrest as they were pulled out of flaming vehicles…

"Alright, we're gonna head out, they've got triage under control." Matt, our driver, announced as the doors were shut and the sirens turned on, the flashing lights cutting us a path through traffic and towards the hospital.

"Hey, you okay?" Sean asked as we pulled into the emergency area of the hospital parking lot, Kasey and Matt getting out to rush the unidentified cardiac patient inside as I stumbled out of the van with my bag.

"I'm fine." I replied automatically but he waved away my answer, taking me by the arm and dragging me into the hospital.

"Come on, the good cafeteria's on the third floor." He ordered, manhandling me into an elevator and hitting the button before sliding out.

"But--" I started only to be interrupted instantly.

"I'll tell Kase to clock you out alright? Your shift was over six hours ago, now go eat something before you pass out." Sean's face quickly disappeared as the doors shut and I was left standing there, covered in soot and blood and all sorts of things. I sighed and peeled off my black Fallon Emergency Services jacket, holding it at arms length as the door opened to a mercifully empty hallway. Looking around furtively I stepped out of the elevator and started looking for a bathroom, finding one a few minutes later and locking myself into it. I desperately needed a shower but for now a change of clothes and a splash of water would have to do.

Ten minutes later I looked slightly presentable for an EMT, I'd just yanked on a t-shirt and gray hoodie and a pair of jeans, tossing my filthy uniform into my backpack. My face was relatively clean (though my cheeks were pink from the scrubbing) and I'd managed to get my hair banana-clipped up and into submission. Deciding to take Sean's advice, or risk needing an ambulance myself, I started to trudge off in the direction of the cafeteria. The hospital was an unfamiliar one to me, and looked like it had a bit of a higher budget than the county one I usually ended up in. All of the patients names were outlined in gold plated plaques next to or on their doors and from what I could see of the insides of the rooms, they were decorated to the hilt with exotic flowers pouring out of each and every one.

I soon found myself reading the names on the plaques, thinking that maybe I'd see the name of some famous celebrity or politician, or at least a C-lister. I didn't get any famous names, but there was one I recognized. I stopped abruptly in front of the one that read "Davies, A" and before I could stop myself, peered carefully inside. The girl from the aquarium was lying on her stomach across the hospital bed, looking decidedly thinner and more ill than she had that night. She was wearing a black t-shirt that read "Come to the Dark Side, We Have Cookies" on it in white letters, a pair of board-shorts, multicolored socks, and those gloves again and seemed deeply immersed in the book that was open in front of her. A multitude of machines hummed and beeped at her side, connected to her by the thin tubing that was snaking across her arms and ended in an IV line jabbed into the back of her hand.

Feeling saddened I started to duck out of the room when my foot whacked against the doorframe and she looked up. I flushed instantly.

"Hey," She said, perking up immediately.

"…hi." I replied in a near whisper, taking a few steps forward. We both looked at each other for another minute before I cleared my throat. "So…um, what are you reading?" I asked and she grinned, holding up a huge white hardcover that I recognized from my childhood.

"My favorite book." She replied cheerily and I couldn't help but laugh, it was a raggedy copy of "Where the Wild Things Are".

"Take a seat, I'll read it to you." She said, then when I was apparently too slow for her liking, reached over and pulled me down, sitting up in the process.

"How old are you anyway?" I asked as she flipped back to the first page.

"Nineteen and a half." She replied unabashedly, turning the book so that I could see the pictures. "Okay, ready?"

"…what happened?" I asked as she sucked in a breath and got ready to read. For a rare second she looked put out as she replied,

"Treatment." and made a face. Then she was right back to her usual self, or at least, what I knew of her usual self.

"'The night Max wore his wolf suit…'" She started brightly and, having nothing else to do, I sat there and listened. My eyes just couldn't seem to stay on the pictures though, instead they kept creeping upward haltingly, like that one kid sitting in the theater and watching 'The Ring' only 'cause his friends dared him to. I would look, see that she was engrossed in the book, and stare only as long as I could take it before quickly glancing back down.

To avoid blatantly staring at her I tried looking around the room and saw that there were books everywhere. Of the titles that I could make out I saw that the entire Harry Potter series was sharing space with The Chronicles of Narnia, and a tattered copy of "The Art of War" lay side by side with a dog eared edition of "The Audacity of Hope" among a lot of other books. Eventually I just went back to watching her, that same intense look of concentration on her face as she read in her captivating voice.

"'And the walls became the world all around, and an ocean tumbled by…'" I allowed myself to get lost in the sound and texture, my eyes now attentively roving over the detailed pictures as she turned each page, and I found myself a little depressed when she came to the end, sad that it was over.

"'And it was still hot!'" She read the last line with a flourish and despite my feelings I grinned, my gaze returning to her face for a second. It was long enough for her to hold my stare and another moment or two passed before I looked down again.

"You're supposed to be _resting_." Mr. Dennison announced in an extremely annoyed tone as he appeared in the doorway, going so far as to glare at me before focusing his disapproval on Ashley. In response she slowly closed the book and placed it on the table near the bed, leaning into me and whispering,

"Meet you in the tunnel tomorrow night?" then straightening abruptly.

"You can go back to getting my dad his coffee now, I'm _resting_." Ash replied a little testily to Mr. Dennison, laying down correctly on the bed and I took that as my cue to leave. I got up quickly and started for the door, intent on finding the cafeteria, and Mr. Dennison turned to leave as well without another word. I looked back briefly and Ashley grinned widely, waving. I waved back then was gone, warmth coursing through me as I navigated the gilded halls.

_tbc_

_r&r_


	3. Disorder

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

3: Disorder

I snuggled a little deeper under the covers of my bed, pulling them over my head against the intrusion of the shy rays of sunlight that were beginning to introduce themselves. I knew it was morning, and therefore I should be getting up, should be making myself a cup of coffee and catching up with the news or the sports section, but instead, I slept. I was drifting off again when my phone rang rudely, shrilly shouting at me every few seconds. It reminded me of when I was back in high school and my mother was trying to wake me. I let it ring for a bit, then finally relented and got up, glaring at it much like I would've glared at Mom.

"…H-hello?" I asked groggily, sitting on the edge of my bed in only a pair of shorts and running my fingers through my hair.

"S-Spencer, I n-need you…" My heart instantly clenched at the sound of Kenzie's voice and I knew exactly what had happened.

"I'll be right there." I replied tightly, then jumped out of bed. Five minutes, a quick shower, and me fumbling through an outfit later I was in my car, shaking so hard that I could barely get the engine started. Damn Glen! She was already terrified of him as it was, did he really have to? And how long would it be before he put his hands on Blake?

I sped the entire way across town to Glen's huge house, his massive Cadillac Escalade blocking the whole damn driveway, forcing me to park on the street before marching up the steps and opening the unlocked door.

My brain processed slowly as I followed the sounds of soft sobbing in the house, figuring that if Glen's car was still here then he had to be…and Kenzie never called me while he was still here…Then I noticed his work boots thrown into a corner as well as his uniform, his sneakers gone. He must've been at the park playing basketball with Blake. Releasing a breath I hadn't realized I was holding I reached the living room to find her crumpled in a little ball by the couch and my heart squeezed even tighter, I thought it was going to implode as I knelt by her side and reached out to gently touch her shoulder.

Crying, she slowly and painfully unraveled herself, and my eyes conducted their usual EMT once-over. Her curly honey blond hair was a mess, and her face was tearstained and a little puffy, but that was it, he'd never hit her where people could see it. Her shirt hadn't fared so well though, it was ripped across the neck and infinitely wrinkled. I knew that if I lifted the sleeves a little her arms would be a solid shade of blue all the way up to her shoulder, or if the hem rose it'd expose the swath of purple that was her ribcage at this point. Shaking my head I silently pulled her to me and held her. She cried even harder, putting her arms tightly around my neck as if she'd never let go.

It was our usual routine, she'd sob until she couldn't anymore, tell me she loved me and hated him, maybe she'd kiss me, maybe she wouldn't, either way I would end up on the losing end, that much I knew. She wouldn't leave him. She just took it, the beatings, the abuse, and she came running to me every time. Then, when things settled down again, I was just Glen's sister again, Blake's underachieving aunty, nothing more and nothing less.

"Come on," I said wearily, wiping her tears away. "Let's get you cleaned up." Her stick-thin arms fell by her sides and she looked at me with her wide, light brown eyes, sniffling.

"…Spencer…do you h-hate me?" She asked abruptly, tearfully, and my brows furrowed.

"No, why would I?" I replied, not quite knowing how to react. She'd never asked me that before.

"…'Cause…'cause I'm not s-strong like you! I can't d-do it by myself, working, living alone--"

"Being alone…" I finished in my mind as she paused to suck in a breath.

"I n-need him." It was a fact I'd long resigned myself to so I wasn't shocked by this revelation, just saddened.

"I know." I replied lamely, not quite up to arguing with her about it. About how she didn't need to suffer just to be with someone, there were plenty of people out there who would love both her and Blake, and without hurting them...I helped her into the shower and some time later she stumbled out again, bruised and tender. After she managed to get into a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants I sighed, shaking my head slowly.

She just gave me an apologetic look, hugged me again, kissed me on the cheek, then couldn't seem to help it and migrated a few inches to the left, taking my lips in hers. I broke it off, as usual, when things started to get a little heated.

"I gotta go." I mumbled and she nodded sadly, but let me go. I left, cried on the drive home, then crawled into bed and went back to sleep.

When I woke up again the sun was sinking and my mouth tasted like something had died in it. My stomach was also none too happy with me but I forced myself to take care of the necessaries first before settling down in my tiny kitchen and rifling through the fridge. After a few moments of terse negotiations I finally grabbed a pack of Hot Pockets and popped them in the microwave, then pulled out a bottle of water. A few minutes later, as I was scarfing down said Hot Pockets, I suddenly remembered that I had agreed to meet Ashley at the aquarium. I glanced at the clock, dropping my pepperoni pocket onto the plate, and running back off to my room. It was close to nine o'clock, and I still had to drive over there! I was gonna be so late!

Dressing turned into a warp speed affair as I tried my best to look decent, clothes going this way and that, zooming by and flying through the air as I tried on and went through outfit after outfit. I settled on a black wool sweater with the sleeves rolled halfway up and my best pair of dark jeans, I slipped my feet into a pair of black flip flops, then attempted to comb my hair before finally sprinting out to my car. The '93 Escort Wagon complained about being started in a hurry for the second time in a day but I tuned out its grumblings with the radio and rushed out to the aquarium.

The ticket guy looked at me like I was insane when I begged him for a ticket despite the fact that closing time was a minute away but gave me one anyway and I managed to find my way to the tunnel, only getting lost once or twice. When I shyly padded in she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, bundled up again (this time in a military style green jacket, a bright red hoodie, dark jeans, those scarves, the gloves, and the motorcycle boots), and communicating with a few pale, dangly sea-dragons. I silently went over and sat down as well, only the eerie blue light of the tank illuminating the dark tunnel and forcing my eyes to readjust.

"…what's the news for tonight?" I asked softly after a while.

"Hmm…apparently Sara the sting-ray is being a bitch, and Waldo the whale is losing a lot of weight," She said, turning to look at me and lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "…the sea-dragons over here think he's…manorexic…" I laughed, then clapped a hand over my mouth as the sound echoed around the empty space. The sea-dragons all dispersed at the disturbance, disappearing into the blue depths of the tank, and Ashley watched them go, taking her hands slowly away from the glass.

"Sorry." I said but she just shrugged it off with a grin, hugging her knees to her chest and holding my gaze. I looked away first, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.

"…are you going to get in trouble?" I asked, Mr. Dennison's face flashing through my mind, and she shrugged again.

"Does it really matter?" She replied and I supposed it didn't.

"You're sick." I pointed out dully a minute or two later.

"I'm alive." With that I sat up straight again, wringing my hands in my lap. I wanted to know exactly what was wrong with her, and what her chances were, if any. Or maybe it was just some temporary thing, and she'd recover, and then I wouldn't have to worry about it. I was gathering up the courage to ask when her pager went off and she released a monumental sigh, then stood up. I followed her example, more than a little disappointed.

"Come see me the day after tomorrow?" She asked, starting to disappear into the shadows.

"…okay…" I answered, only the water there to hear me.

_tbc_

_r&r_


	4. An Engagement

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

4: An Engagement

The tag on the inside of my dress itched mercilessly at my neck but I resisted the urge to scratch it. I tried to focus instead on the knife and fork in my hand, clutching them with the fervor I wanted to transfer to the agonizing itch. It was the required weekly family dinner at some restaurant uptown, and it was currently 8:30 at night, which meant that I had to be at work in 2 and a half hours… Looking around the table my eyes settled on Blake, who was struggling with the utensils, and, when no one was looking, reaching forward to pop some food into his mouth with his fingers. Unbeknownst to him, he was also getting crumbs all over his nice clothes which would probably get him yelled at in an hour or two.

My gaze continued up the table to my parents, chatting excitedly with Clay about the prospect of getting his degree a year ahead of schedule. Glen was attempting to interject every few moments about some new achievement of his own, and Kenzie was sitting quietly, picking at her food.

"So Clay, have you met any nice girls at school huh?" My father asked with a grin, ribbing his oldest son.

"Aw come on Dad, you know I'm not focused on that right now." He replied sheepishly as Glen's face got a bit darker.

"But surely there's got to be someone." Mom added amusedly and Glen cleared his throat.

"Well…" Clay started but he was interrupted by Glen, who stood up at the table.

"I was going to wait until dessert, but I just can't." He announced loudly as everyone in the restaurant turned to stare him. He turned to Kenzie and took a step towards her, before lowering himself to one knee. Cue the gasps and 'awws' from the crowd as he extracted a velvet covered black box from his suit pocket and opened it with a flourish. My heart shot up to my throat, riding on a jet of bile, and beat so hard there that it was a wonder I didn't choke on it.

"McKenzie Ann Bryant, will you marry me?"

The door was wide open when I got there, sunshine spilling its bright mess across the room, the flood stopping just shy of Ash's bed. She was sitting there waiting for me, clad in a tank top and jeans, the multi-colored socks making a reappearance and her chocolate curls pulled up in a messy ponytail.

"You came." She said happily, then motioned for me to take a seat. "You look beat." She added and I smiled as best I could in response.

"Work." I replied with a shrug.

"What do you do?"

"I'm an EMT." She nodded, then plucked a book with a plain black cover off of her ever-growing pile and handed it to me. Puzzled, I took it and opened to the first page carefully to be greeted by staff paper, every line filled with a complex series of notes and dashes.

"You're a musician?" I asked.

"Future rock star." She replied instantly, which only made the beeping and pinging of the machines she was hooked up to seem that much louder. I tried for a smile and went back to looking at the notebook.

"…sing something…" I asked abruptly and she actually flushed, for the first time since I'd known her.

"I don't know about--" She started, taking the book as Mr. Dennison walked in, brandishing a little plastic cup filled to the brim with a rainbow of pills and a gigantic bottle of Fiji water.

"Here you go." He said gently, handing them to her as she glared at him. I merely looked away, regarding my sneakers as if they were suddenly the most interesting things I'd ever seen. Then to my complete surprise he turned to me.

"I'm heading to the cafeteria, would you like anything Spencer?" He asked and I just gaped stupidly.

"Uh…no thank you, I'm fine." I finally babbled and he nodded, readjusting his glasses before taking the now empty plastic cup from Ashley and tossing it in the trash, then letting himself out of the room.

"He knows my name." I said after a minute or two passed. Ash just fidgeted and took a sip from the water bottle, attempting a shrug.

"Probably did a background check on you or something." She said, then grabbed any random book. "Hey, have you ever read this?"

"…no…" I replied absently, then, "How do you guys know each other?" I asked curiously, they seemed to have a little bit more of a connection than just attendant and attendee.

"We've been friends since we were kids." She mumbled, putting the book back down slowly.

"Oh." I said and she sighed, looking out the window and hugging her knees up to her chest.

"…we dated for a long time, then we got engaged…and then I got sick." She announced softly. I didn't say a word, anxiously waiting to see if she'd go on, and I found myself gazing at my sneakers again in order to avoid staring at her.

"I guess it just made me look at stuff different, and suddenly he wasn't what I wanted anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love Aiden, but just not in the way he wants me to, and vice versa." I felt my brows furrow as I looked up at her, the sun starting to melt into the clouds around it like over-exposed ice cream, the colors all slipping at the corners like water into a drain.

"…vice versa?" I repeated in a small voice and she nodded vehemently, catching my eyes.

"He's always loved me, since we first met, it was so easy, I didn't even have to do anything. I want to fight for it, love has to be something you earn, somebody just can't hand it to you."

"…but…what if you lose?" I asked, instantly thinking of Glen, Kenzie, and I. Kenzie had been a fight that I'd lost, and that I'd keep losing, I'd much rather she'd given me her love like she'd given it to Glen, she gave him all of herself at the slightest prodding, whatever was left over after a beating was what I always seemed to get.

"Then you wait until the bruises heal and get back in the ring." She answered, then abruptly cracked a grin. "ADDRRIEEENNNEEEE!!!!" She announced suddenly in full on drunk Rocky voice and I couldn't help but laugh, all thoughts of my battles old and new being forced out of my head.

"I will crush you!" I replied in my best Ivan Drago and we spent the rest of the night chronicling all of our favorite movies. Hers was currently "Superbad", mine was and would forever be "The Lion King". Finally she started to yawn, looking drained despite her animation, which prompted me to make up some excuse about needing to leave so she could get some rest. We said our goodbyes and I started for the door, then turned around again and jammed my hands into my pockets.

"…what is it…that you have?" I asked softly, my curiosity not allowing me to hold off for another day.

"They don't know." She answered as if I had asked her what the weather would be like tomorrow. "Nobody knows actually."

"Oh." It was all I could think of to say.

"See you tomorrow?" She asked.

"Maybe." I conceded, offering her a smile before walking back out into the hallway, my good humor gone for some reason. I shuffled down the hallway, eyes on the ground, until I bumped into a tall form that was headed in the opposite direction, toward Ashley's room.

"Sorry." Aiden and I said at the same time as our heads snapped up and we looked at each other. Then we both added, "No problem." unanimously and were forced to smile.

"How did you know my name anyway?" I asked, being fairly certain that we'd never introduced ourselves. Now his smile faltered a little bit though he tried valiantly to keep it in place.

"Oh, well Ashley talks about you all the time." He replied brightly but I thought I could hear a note of sadness playing in the background, though it was quickly drowned out by the sound of my heart pounding happily in my ears.

"Oh." I replied, tamping down on a grin as we went on to wish each other a good night before continuing on in our separate paths…

_tbc_

_r&r_


	5. Twilight

Where the Sea Meets the Sky

5: Twilight

"Aunty Spencer!!" Blake squealed, bursting through my apartment door and into my arms, followed shortly by Kenzie, who entered in a much more polite fashion.

"Hey you." I greeted, picking him up and spinning him around.

"Sorry to bother you on your day off…" She started but I stopped her with a look.

"I missed my nephew," I replied simply, putting Blake down only for him to demand to be picked up again with a pout. "…okay, well maybe not that much." I added and she laughed, taking a seat on the tattered remains of my couch. I followed her example and Blake promptly yawned, cuddling up to me. He grabbed my hand and stuck my thumb in his mouth, then proceeded to play with one of my ears as his eyes started to droop.

"He didn't have a nap." Kenzie offered by way of explanation, her son's breathing deepening even as she spoke.

"Has he been behaving himself?" I asked, tousling his hair with my free hand. She smiled and shook her head.

"Never." She replied with a mix of weariness and amusement, then started to wring her hands in her lap. I had tried to avoid looking at them, didn't quite want to see the bright ring positioned on a certain finger, but I failed miserably. We both ended up staring at it for a while as the sounds of Blake's soft snoring filled the small space.

"I don't know if I want to marry him." She announced in a barely audible voice, slipping the ring off and folding it into her palm. Funny, it hadn't been a question that night at the restaurant. She'd completed all the requisite fair maiden proposed to by a handsome prince procedures, the look of shock, the spontaneous tears and overjoyed reaction…then of course there was the resounding 'yes'. No one had been surprised by her answer as they all started clapping, no one but me. I had been expecting a solid, intelligent 'no', but then again that was probably a little too logical for this reality.

"Say something Spencer!" She demanded abruptly, her hand trembling as she clenched the ring tightly. I just shrugged, holding Blake a little closer.

"It's your decision, we've already been through this." I replied.

"But--" Kenzie started, then deflated pathetically, her face falling into her hands. "…I don't want to…" She continued in a whisper and I got up to deposit Blake on the armchair, then turned to glare at her.

"Then don't." I said though was my cause was lost a moment later as she started to cry.

"Let's go for a walk." Ashley announced as soon as I set foot in her hospital room. She was fully bundled up in her usual extravagant layers and in the middle of pulling her hat on when I reached her.

"Are you sure?" I asked, staring at the machines only to see that they were off and that she wasn't attached to anything.

"Is anyone ever really sure?" She asked in a would-be philosophical tone, then grinned and took my hand. "Come on." She urged, dragging me out of the room. People stared at us as we navigated the halls, then exited out into the street and across it to a gigantic park that I somehow hadn't noticed there before. I felt incredibly warm as we began our walk, not so much because of the sun, but more due to the fact that my hand was still firmly intertwined with hers. She kept hold of it as we went at our slow pace, marveling at the stillness of the fenced off lake to the left of us, wistfully watching a puppy chase it's owner around, its harness in its mouth and playful murder in its eyes.

"Do you have any pets?" Ash asked suddenly, breaking the sun-drenched silence.

"Just my nephew." I replied quickly and she laughed.

"How old is he?"

"Almost three." She smiled and nodded, looking away at the ground.

"I don't have any siblings so…"

"…sorry." I said in response but she brightened up quickly enough, giving me a curious glance.

"Hey, are you close with your parents?" She asked.

"…yeah, I guess. We all have dinner once a week and hang out on the holidays." I replied, flushing a little.

"That's nice." Ashley said sincerely, squeezing my hand a bit. I flushed a little deeper and cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say.

"Um…what about you?" I finally just asked lamely.

"I don't really have any." She answered and I must've given her a scandalized look because she pressed on quickly. "I mean, technically I do, but, I never really see them. My Dad's a hedgefund guy and my mom's a designer so, you know, the sick kid doesn't really fit into their lifestyle."

"That's horrible." I declared instantly and she just shrugged.

"That's life." She replied sagely.

"Life sucks." I said vehemently and in a sudden burst of bitterness, then immediately felt like a jackass. Here I was with a girl who may or may not be alive tomorrow and yet I was the one complaining.

"Yeah, well when life gives you lemons…" She started with a sigh and when she didn't continue my brows furrowed.

"…make lemonade?" I finished uncertainly and she grinned, pointing a little ways ahead of us to a bright green and yellow cart.

"No, you pay some other guy to make you a lemon-lime slushie." She replied brightly, laughing and pulling me toward the cart. I merely shook my head and followed obediently.

"Crap." She announced as we skidded to a stop in front of the kind-faced old man running the cart.

"What is it?" I asked as she let go of my hand, patting the sides of her jeans. "Dammit, I left my wallet in my room." She announced dejectedly and I just smiled.

"Don't worry, I got it." I replied, extracting my own fraying brown leather wallet as she gave me a smile and a look that made me feel like I had no bones in my entire body.

"Uhm…t-two slushies." I stammered to the old man, looking away from her and over to him as he rang me up.

"$5.71 miss." He replied politely and I extracted a bill and some change, only to have Ashley surreptitiously pull my wallet from my hand as I forked the money over.

"Who is she?" She asked, regarding the little high school picture of Kenzie that I'd had in there since she got pregnant.

"Just a friend." I replied hastily, not thinking and just reaching for the wallet, which she held just out of reach of my fingertips.

"…she's beautiful…" Ash stated matter-of-factly, a bit of a challenge in her tone.

"Uh…I guess…" I replied, face bright red as she finally gave me the wallet back. She gave me a narrow eyed look, then turned right back into rainbows and sunshine as the guy handed us our slushies.

"Come on." Ash said, grabbing my hand again and holding it a bit tighter than before as she dragged me over to a bench in front of the lake and forced me to take a seat. The sun was about halfway into the water as we sat there, feet kicking and enjoying the slushies, hands still joined. I was beginning to feel at peace for the first time in a long time when suddenly Ash let go of my hand, her drink tumbling to the ground as she launched into a fit of body wracking coughs.

"Ashley!" I tossed my drink aside and leaned over only to realize there was nothing I could do but sit there and pat her back dully. Just when I was beginning to get scared she stopped, taking in a few great shuddering breaths before turning to glare at me.

"Don't look at me like that!" She demanded fiercely.

"Like what?!" I asked, freaked out.

"Like I'm sick!" She replied and I looked at her.

"…but you are." I said gently and she shook her head vehemently.

"So what! I don't look at you like you're healthy do I?! I'm not bitter, I don't hate God or Buddha or whoever, life's too short for that!" She stopped here to take a breath, then shot up.

"Let's go back." She whispered, then started briskly for the hospital. I didn't know what else to do but follow, shuffling along behind as dusk fell heavily upon us and the park, enveloping everything in its blue shadow, like water in a tank…

_tbc_

_r&r_

_p.s. there will by no dying in this fic_


	6. Like Grains of Sand 1

Where the Sea Meets the Sky

6: Like Grains of Sand Pt. 1

I looked around my room, saw that all my stuff was ready, and flopped over onto my bed. A few minutes later I felt a pair of smooth legs stretch across the waist, and a pair of soft hands reaching forward to take my wrists and hold them over my head.

"How're you gonna get up now?" Kenzie challenged happily, straddling me and holding me in place. I opened my eyes and just looked at her for a second, then shrugged.

"Maybe I won't." I replied and she grinned, then kissed the tip of my nose gently before moving on to my mouth. I pushed her away after a few seconds, nearly jumping out of bed and away from her, grabbing my tote bag and clutching it to me like it could actually protect me.

"Where's Blake?" I squeaked as she gave me a disappointed look.

"Playing Gamecube." She replied in a low voice, getting up and closing the distance between us in a matter of seconds.

"Uh…we're not going to find any parking…" I mumbled, backtracking toward the door and she pouted, but grabbed the car keys anyway, her engagement ring flashing in the sunlight as she pulled it off and left it on my dresser.

"…don't want to lose it…" She said in a small voice before heading into the living room to drag Blake away from Super Mario Sunshine. I followed dejectedly behind, trying not to notice the way she looked in those cutoff's, or that barely zipped up hoodie...

"Let's go!!" Blake yelled excitedly from the backseat as Kenzie started up the engine on her little silver two-door. I got in the passenger side, offering him a smile that he happily returned as we started off.

I don't know if you can describe it as a family trip, since it was only me, Kenzie, and Blake, but it was definitely a trip. For the next two hours it was just me and her, (Blake falling asleep soon after we hit the freeway), cruising along the open road. Mostly we just listened to Jason Reeves and waxed lyrical about his general dreaminess, then switched over to Rihanna's first CD and jammed out before finally settling on the radio and the randomness that came with that. It almost felt normal again.

"Hey, you were wrong about the parking." Kenzie pointed out playfully as we swung into the beach parking lot to find more than a few spots open. I didn't say anything, just leaned back to free Blake from his car seat restraints, his eyes opening instantly as he realized we had arrived.

"Lemme go!" He squealed as soon as my flip flopped feet hit the asphalt, flailing in my grip, but I kept a firm hold on one of his hands. Kenzie just shook her head.

"Can you please be good today honey?" She asked as he turned up the squealing before merely pouting in response, glaring at me in his nearly three year old way.

"No!" He answered defiantly, but stopped struggling anyway. I think he knew I wasn't going to let him go, and that I wasn't above sticking him right back in the car seat and bringing him back home regardless. We continued to walk through the parking lot, our feet finally hitting sand a few minutes later, and Blake's mood brightened right back up.

"Mommy water!" He announced, pointing at the wide expanse of blue that was coming up to lap at his little feet as we headed towards it. We ended up setting up shop just short of the tide and Blake took immense pleasure in running toward the frothy, freezing cold spray only to dart back screaming as it just barely enveloped his toes. Kenzie meanwhile stripped down to her bikini, pulled on a pair of shades, and flopped over to take in some sun while I sheepishly removed my t-shirt and shorts, then took up the sentinel position and watched Blake. I was glad to note that only a few barely there bruises remained on her body, fading away, hopefully never to be seen again. Maybe he'd changed now that they were getting married…

"I don't get why you come to the beach. You never go into the water." I mused aloud from my seat near Kenzie's feet. She responded by kicking my arm ever so lightly with the sole of her foot.

"It's cold and disgusting Spence. You never know what's crawling on you in there." She said matter-of-factly. I grabbed her foot and ran my fingers along the outside, causing her to shiver and giggle at the same time, trying to jerk her foot away.

"Quit it!" She squealed, sounding remarkably like her son for a moment, but I held on and only stroked faster. She launched into full on laughs and tried to sit up while I tried my best not to guffaw at her expression, Blake merely watched disinterestedly for a moment before grabbing a beach ball and baiting the sea with that instead of his tiny extremities.

"Spencer!" She gasped, finally getting her foot free. She was up in a matter of seconds and tackled me onto the huge blanket we'd set up, putting me into a headlock.

"Not so big and bad now are you?" She asked as I flailed, laughing and trying to escape at the same time, which worked about as well as it had for her a few minutes ago. She let go of me only to slip her warm slick hands into my board shorts and I froze.

"Stop it." I whispered, taking her wrists and gently extracting her fingertips.

"Why?" She asked seriously, sitting back on her calves and looking at me. I just shrugged, there were so many answers to that question i.e.: "You're my brother's fiancée" or "You're my best friend" or even the tried and true "Not in front of Blake". I chose none and instead remained silent even as Kenzie glared at me.

"…Spencer, it's been forever." She continued in a low pleading tone that made me hurt all over again.

"…maybe…maybe it should stay that way…" I replied, getting up and walking slowly over to my nephew, leaving Kenzie to angrily flop over and resume her sunbathing. Blake took my hand and smiled as we both stood in the frothy surf, the water washing over our feet as we both stared up, trapped in the space where the sky met the sea…

_tbc_

_r&r _


	7. Like Grains of Sand 2

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

7: Like Grains of Sand Pt. 2

I drove restlessly around, Kenzie and Blake safely back home and all of my beach gear tossed haphazardly into the backseat of my car. Somehow in the course of trying to drive away my sorrows I'd found myself in the heart of the city, only a parallel park away from Ashley. We hadn't seen each other since the 'slushie incident', as I'd dubbed it and I wondered if she missed me. She never got any other visitors…My grip tightened on the steering wheel as it seemed to turn of its own accord, forcing me into a space before the car spat me out onto the crowded smoggy sidewalk a few seconds later. I glared at the evil vehicle for a second, then wiped my sweaty palms on my denim shorts, and flip flopped my way into the facility, figuring that traffic sucked right now anyway, and that I might as well give it a shot.

Would she be happy to see me? Or order Aiden to drag me away before I even said a word?

The sound of my sandals flapping against the floor echoed off the spotless walls and right back into my ears, making it seem like a giant was shuffling down the hallway. I stopped just in front of her slightly opened door, taking a deep breath before slowly walking inside. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, reading a book, her knees pulled up to her chest as was her usual position. After a moment of silence I cleared my throat and she looked up, her face brightening instantly. I let go of that deep breath that I hadn't realized I was holding and grinned easily.

"Hey there stranger." She said happily, tossing the book back onto the pile near her bed.

"Hi." I replied a little breathlessly.

"…you smell like the ocean." She announced abruptly and I shrugged, flushing.

"Just got back from the beach." I replied, realizing that I probably should've taken a shower first. She instantly jumped up, running over to me and hugging me tightly, burying her face in my neck and tangling her hands in my hair.

"A-Ash?" I stammered, not quite sure what to do as she held on for a very long time.

"I've never been before, so this is as close as I'm gonna get." She murmured against my skin, causing a flood of warmth from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.

"…you've never been to the beach?" I asked just as she let go, the warm feeling pulling away with her.

"Well I was always really busy, dance classes, guitar lessons, drama club, soccer yada yada yada. And my parents never bothered to take me when I was a little kid so…"

"We should go." I blurted and her eyes gleamed.

"You think we could?" She asked excitedly, grabbing both of my hands and holding onto them.

"Yeah, I mean…if they'll let you go." Now the hopeful gleam hardened into determination.

"They will." She replied forcefully, then hopped back onto the bed, letting my hands go and pulling her knees under her chin.

"So what's it like?" I shrugged again, smiling.

"It's…hard to describe." So I spent the rest of the afternoon trying, and it was great, the way she laughed as I fumbled for words or the way her eyes glowed when I talked about the ocean. I went home when Aiden finally kicked me out and the first thing I did was hop into the shower, then collapsed between my sheets, not bothering to put on any clothes. It was a warm night, and I wasn't expecting any late night crises.

If only expectation was all we had to go on, then the only things that would happen would be the things we were anticipating.

Kenzie crawled into bed next to me a while later, when night ruled proper and the sky was a solid shade of dark purple, like the bruises she was covered in. She was crying and trembling and for a blurry moment I thought it was a dream, hoped it was a dream. Then she hugged me, and I felt the very real tears against my chest, and heard the very real sound of sobbing, and I knew it wasn't.

"…K-Kenzie?" I whispered, trying to sit up but her grip was vice like and instead I just reached over to attempt to turn the lamp on. My fingertips flailed a few millimeters away from the switch as she replied in a barely audible gasp,

"…I hate him..." I twitched, the familiar patterns and actions of the situation threatening to overtake me once again. I hit the switch and dim light flooded one side of the room, just barely illuminating the bed and the shaking figure that was clinging to me.

"Kenzie." I repeated in a stronger tone, sitting her up and quickly yanking on a hoodie that had lay, discarded, near the bottom of the bed. "Tell me what happened." She attempted to wipe away the tears she was drowning in herself only to have me bat away her hands and do it myself while she hiccupped an answer,

"…I-I didn't a-ask h-him if we c-could go t-today..." I sighed, letting my hands drift down limply to my sides.

"Why not?" I asked exasperatedly and her eyes flashed.

"H-He's not my k-keeper, I d-don't h-have to r-report to h-him, I'm not one of his s-s-stupid cadets!" I just looked at her and shook my head sadly.

"You asked for it." I whispered. As much as I hated the way he treated her, and as much as there was no excuse for it, she knew that if she was going to stay with him she was going to have to play by his rules. If she wasn't going to leave then pulling stunts like this one was going to get her hurt.

"I-I thought you w-were on m-my side! You y-you think I w-want him to do t-t-this to me?!" She started crying harder as I scrambled to explain, my mouth knew the words so well that they just tumbled out, fully formed, from my hasty lips.

"Of course not. I want you to be happy, and I don't want you to get hurt. But you have to take it or leave him. He's not going to change." Glen had always been a control freak, the war hadn't changed him, having a son hadn't changed him, nothing would. He'd always tried to control everything, and everyone, around him, from my relationship choices to Clay's top school picks, he'd attempted to rule them all. When his manipulation failed him his iron fists were usually the next option, and people always got hurt.

"S-Spencer, why don't you love me anymore?" She asked in a heartbroken whisper a few minutes later, when her hiccups had died down to just hic's, and her tears slowed to a drizzle from a downpour.

"…I do love you." I replied, forcing the words around the huge lump in my throat that had sprung up from nowhere.

"Then why won't you kiss me?" She demanded and suddenly this wasn't about Glen, it wasn't about me, it wasn't about anyone but her. Maybe it was the years, maybe it was the memories, I don't really know…but something made me lean forward and press my lips to hers, as shyly and awkwardly as the first time, in the dark theater of my childhood room when she was five months pregnant and scared of being alone and I really thought she loved me.

She kissed my back in that needy way of hers, even as I realized that I couldn't ever feel about her the way I had…but I did force myself to love her, to make love to her, because somebody had to…

_tbc_

_r&r _


	8. Playing Dress Up

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

8: Playing Dress Up

"How about this one?" Kenzie asked in an overly happy tone, twirling around in a white lace fantasy of a wedding dress and getting rewarded with a set of double grins from our mothers. I was currently squished between the both of them, my mom on my right side, and Laura, Kenzie's mom, on my other side in the crowded high-end bridal boutique. Nearly two months had passed since she'd shown up, battered and beaten, in my bed and I was still no closer to finally ending things with her. Ashley and I still hadn't gone to the beach, we were waiting for paperwork from the hospital to clear, and for her to be strong enough to go, but she'd never admit that as the reason…

"You look beautiful!" Our parents gushed in varying ways as she kept twirling, putting on a cheerful mask for them. Lately she had been anything but, she'd start crying for almost no reason, or suddenly turn from bright and sunshiney to sullen and pouty at the drop of a dime. I'd asked her if she was pregnant again, the answer had been a stout 'no'.

"It's a little large in the sleeves dear, we're going to have to get it altered." Laura pointed out gently, as if she thought that it was really the dress of her daughter's dreams, and that any tiny imperfection in the fit or size would shatter that dream. At the mention of the word 'alter', the chipper store associate who'd welcomed us in dashed right back over with a team of tailors and what seemed like miles of measuring tape, engulfing Kenzie in a blur of needles and needling. I just smiled and tried not to look at my watch.

"Now all we need is for Spencer to find herself a decent man." Laura announced good-naturedly as we all sat down to lunch after Kenzie had finally been released from the robotically precise hands of the tailors. In response to her mother's declaration the bride-to-be coughed into her salad as I shrugged.

"Got a map?" I asked and our parents laughed heartily.

"What about that handsome young man from work, oh what's his name again? Sean! That's it. What about him?" My mom asked enthusiastically around her wine glass. I just shrugged again as Laura perked up.

"Oooh, tell me more!" She demanded. We spent the rest of the afternoon debating my possible settlement choices, well, Mom and Laura debated, while Kenzie and I just kind of sat there and listened. As soon as they were gone it was just me and her again, wandering around the mall like we'd done so many times before. We popped into the coolly colored cabanas of Hollister, looked around at all the over-priced preppy/surfer gear, then came to a stop in a dim corner under a few wooden torch-holders.

"Spencer..." Kenzie started, folding her arms over her chest and looking down. "…would you leave me…you know, if you found someone else and all…?" Instantly the warm, gravelly sound of Ashley's laugh started to play in my ears and her unfathomable dark eyes danced before my own. I thought of children's books and cutoff gloves, of multicolored socks and long conversations, nestled deep in the pristine halls of a hospital, every day a blessing instead of the battlefield I was forced to navigate just to get a few seconds of bliss with Kenzie…

"Uhm…" I started to mumble an answer but she cut me off abruptly.

"'Cause I don't think I could do it…without you...I feel like…I feel like you're the only person who cares about me Spencer." By this point her lower lip had started trembling and I looked around the store quickly, anticipating a full on meltdown in the next minute or so and wondering exactly who'd be around to witness it. I was reassured by the fact that it was mostly just giggling high school girls who'd spent a little too much time with tanning bed and a bottle of peroxide.

"…I can't just be here forever Kenz, waiting for you to make up your mind…" I replied in a whisper and her eyes instantly welled up as she grabbed my hand.

"You don't know what it's like! I have Blake to worry about! What would he do without his father?!" She hissed as the first tears came down and I jerked my arm out of her grasp before I could stop myself. It was the same excuse I'd been hearing for years.

"What's he going to do when he's older huh? What's gonna happen when his father beats you then?! Blake's not just gonna sit and watch Kenzie, what happens then?!" I exploded and she merely stared at me in disbelief until I whirled around and stormed out of the store. She could find her own ride home…

"What's wrong?" Ashley murmured against my neck as we lay there, sprawled across her hospital bed. The windows were open and a warm breeze was teasing our skin through our clothes as she gently held onto my right arm and hand with both of hers, tangled up by my side.

"Nothing." I replied quickly and she stretched in response, then sat up, yawning and rubbing at her eyes.

"Come on Spence, spill." She ordered as she drew her knees up to her chin and regarded me. I merely stared at the ceiling, my own eyes starting to burn as tears inexplicably welled up in the corners.

"…have you ever had to give something up…even though it used to be the most important thing in the world to you….?" I asked quietly, trying to keep the damn tears at bay. Ash raised one shoulder, then the other, in a lazy shrug.

"It's called growing up Spence." She pointed out tenderly and I felt my brows furrow, sitting up despite knowing what the result would be, the threatening droplets finally tilting down like liquid pin-balls to fill in the curves and warp-holes of my face and neck. Angrily swiping them away with a wrist I grabbed the white hardcover copy of "Where the Wild Things Are" off of Ashley's pile and gripped it tightly.

"…why do I have to grow up…if you don't?" I asked in a choked voice, my knuckles turning white where I grasped the love-worn book. Now Ashley looked away…out the window…over at the door…anywhere but at me, and hugged her knees ever tighter.

"I…I don't want to…" She replied in a tiny voice.

"Why not?" I pressed, forcing myself to let go of the book before I destroyed it.

"Because I want it to stay the same! I wanna wake up and be whole again and still be in high school, I don't want it all to be different just 'cause I got sick!"

"Time hasn't stopped Ashley! You're not in high school anymore!" I blurted, then looked down, feeling guilty for yelling, and added in a low tone, "…and I'm not either…" Now our eyes finally locked and my heart ached to see that hers were glistening too. She reached out and took the book from me, tossing it across the room before collapsing into me and holding on tightly.

"…I don't w-wanna die Spencer!" She declared in a tortured voice into my collarbone as I placed my arms around her, holding her in place as she sobbed bitterly.

"…I'm s-so scared…" And yet again I found myself feeling as helpless as I ever did, I was Blake's underachieving aunty…nothing more and nothing less…

_tbc_

_r&r_


	9. SelfTitled

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

9: Self-Titled

It had been two weeks, Kenzie and I still hadn't spoken and summer was almost over, which meant that'd she be back at school and I'd be back to working full-time. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to care, mostly because not spending time with her led to spending a lot more time with Ashley. And speaking of, it was early morning and I was excitedly marching through the hospital halls. The papers had cleared, and we were officially free from the over-sanitized facility for the next 24 hours. When I got to her room she was bouncing off the walls, checking and double-checking her tote bag, making sure she had enough batteries for her digital camera, you know, going through the motions that most people would find tedious and boring before a long trip. To her it was wondrous though, a new experience, with all the little worries and panicky moments becoming monumental obstacles and all the little successes, like finding out that you'd remembered to pack your toothbrush after all, became worthy of gold medals.

"All set?" I asked jovially and she laughed, blowing an unruly brown curl out of her face before abandoning her bag on her bed to run over and squeeze the living daylights out of me.

"I can't believe we're actually going!" She exclaimed, then dove back over to her tote bag and rifled through it at warp speed one last time. I just grinned uncontrollably until Aiden popped up in the doorway, a list in his hand and a sour look on his face.

"Now Spencer, I'm leaving you in charge of her medication. Remember, every six hours okay? If you miss a dose, try to give it as soon as possible alright? But you won't miss any will you?" He tried for a firm and intimidating tone but it just came out weak and anxious, which didn't help because I was already nervous as it was.

"And, and make sure you take breaks every couple of hours okay?" He continued, then turned to Ashley, who'd been making faces at him behind his back the whole time. "You. Don't you try to push yourself. I want you back here in one piece." She rolled her eyes in response and dodged the hug he tried to give her. "I'll be fine Dad, Spencer'll take good care of me, won't you dear?" His jaw tensed as she cuddled up to me and stuck her tongue out at him, to which I just looked down sheepishly at the list he'd handed me and took to memorizing it. An awkward silence took hold until Ash chirped, "Are we free to go now Master?" and Aiden sighed, then nodded, announcing that he'd see us off.

"Absolutely no surfing, wake boarding, jet skiing, or tubing of any kind. Keep swimming sessions short, no more than an hour at a time, preferably only a half. No high impact sports, if you're going to play volleyball use a beach ball please…" Aiden rambled as we rode the elevator down.

"If she exhibits any signs of stress stop what you're doing immediately and get medical help--" We had made it to the front lobby by now.

"All medications have been clearly marked but double check with me if you're even the least bit unsure--" Finally we came to the thick set of double doors that was the exit.

"You have my cell phone number right? And Dr. Paige's number? And the number to the hospital? Call me if you need _anything_, even if it's three in the morning okay?"

"Aiden," Ashley finally snapped as we stood there in the blue glow of a morning not quite come. "We get it. Shut up already." For a moment it looked like he was about to cry but he just cleared his throat a few times and said quietly, "Just…please be careful?" Ashley relented then and let him hug her before the doors opened and we slipped through them into the morning and the parking lot.

"He's such a nutcase." She declared as we started for my car, then laughed delightedly. "I so pictured you driving something like this!" I flushed as we ground to a stop in front of the beat up green station wagon, keeping my gaze to the asphalt as I unlocked the trunk and gingerly placed her things in there, right next to mine.

"Hey, I wonder how big your backseat is…" Ash announced curiously, peeking into said area of the car through the window and I looked at her through the opposite one, only to have her meet my gaze and waggle her eyebrows suggestively, a devilish grin dancing across her face. My face turned a bit redder as I opened up the passenger side door and let her in, then climbed into the driver's seat and started up the engine.

"_Maybe I would disappear without you, maybe I would fall into the skkyyy, but I'm in heaven orbiting around you and your pretty eyyeesss…" _Instantly the song that I had been listening to on my way to the hospital started blaring and Ashley hit the backtrack button on the cd player, causing the song to start over, then turned up the volume as we started on our way. It was my favorite song and I couldn't complain as Ash hit the repeat button and let it play over and over. Eventually she let the rest of the CD play as we came upon the highway, then turned the radio off altogether, leaning back in her seat and rolling down the sunroof, basking in the now bright sunshine.

"…this feels so good." She whispered and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"How long's it been? Since you left the hospital I mean…" I asked and she opened her eyes to look at me.

"Almost two years." She replied, then added. "Thank you so much Spencer." in a low, husky tone. I just blushed and went back to watching the road.

"No problem." I mumbled, my smile coming back tenfold despite my best efforts. Abruptly, Ashley sat up and peeled off her sweater, revealing a tight black string bikini and an even tighter (albeit pale) body.

"W-What are you doing?" I choked out as she leaned back again.

"What? It's hot in your car." She pointed out innocently and I instantly moved to fumble with the A/C controls but she just laughed and placed her hand over mine, stopping me.

"Leave it." She commanded, looking into my eyes until I looked away.

We made a couple stops along the way in our journey, one for gas, the other for Ash to satisfy a two years long craving for some Burger King, and the last one to remind us why we shouldn't have gone for the 72 ounce cups after all. Finally, after what seemed like forever, we pulled into the beach parking lot. It was an average day as far as how many people were there, but I don't think Ashley even noticed that another human being was in her vicinity. All she saw was me…oh, and the beach, yeah, that.

"It's hot!" She exclaimed happily as she pulled her flip flops off and danced along the sand as we looked for a spot to settle down. I laughed, feeling my heart swell as big as her smile.

"This stuff must be really hard to get off huh?" She asked curiously, wriggling her toes and watching them wondrously as the sand clung to her skin.

"Yeah, it usually takes a couple showers." I replied, spreading our gigantic blanket out and neatly laying our stuff upon it.

"Let's make a sand castle!" She announced abruptly, diving for the bag of beach toys that I usually kept filled with stuff for Blake and pulling out the castle molds. We were close enough to the tide that the sand would make for good beach architecture so I just joined cheerily in.

"How many towers should we go for? Two or four?" She asked and I tilted my head indecisively.

"Dunno. Are we going for a princess's castle or a villain's fortress?" I asked jokingly as she studied the upcoming sand sculpture, tongue caught between her teeth in concentration.

"Definitely the princess, so I guess that means two right?"

"Yup, you'd only need four if were planning on building a dungeon and a torture chamber." We both just looked at each other and laughed as she coaxed out the tower design and patted the wobbly add-on onto our lopsided sand castle.

After building Casa De Suenos, as Ashley had dubbed our castle, and then destroying it in a happy fit of kicks and giggles, we joined in on a beach volleyball game. Then we just sunbathed and talked. Ash took pictures of absolutely everything, from the old man with the most spectacular 'moobies' to a dog wrestling with a piece of seaweed. She collected a ton of shells, both beautiful and ugly, piling them all together and observing them as if they were the most interesting things she'd ever seen. I just lay back and watched, helping her when she needed it and shyly reminding her to take her medication when the time came.

One thing she didn't seem so keen on though seemed to be the ocean, for some reason every time I mentioned it Ash would just say "not yet" and avoid the subject. I didn't understand why until I looked up from our nap on the beach to find that no one was left, and that the cart operators were starting to pack up and go home. I looked over at the sky and the sun was low and sinking faster every second.

"Ashley?" I whispered, then looked over and saw that she had been watching me the entire time.

"Hey," She said softly, then tilted her head toward the wide expanse of blue. "Wanna go for a swim?"

"Sure." I replied with a smile and slowly stood up.

"Hold my hand?" She asked me as we started for the sea. I didn't reply, just took her warm palm in mine and held it gently, intertwining our fingers.

"…I wanted to share this just with you…" She whispered, squeezing my hand tightly, and I looked back at her as my toes hit the edge of the water. "I've wanted to do this my whole life." I was flooded from top to bottom with that warm feeling again, that sense that made me feel like I was whole for once, that filled all the cracks and barely stitched up cuts on the battered surface of my heart. She stepped into my arms as we both fully stood in the tide, the water lapping at our waists and the sun winking at us as it headed down to its watery resting place…

"Brrrr." Ashley complained playfully hours later as we holed up in some roadside motel for the night, not wanting to waste the time that would be spent on the road if we drove back home. I abandoned my own efforts to dry myself off and wrapped her up in my towel, then hugged her to me.

"Better?" I asked and she sighed, laying her head on my shoulder.

"Hmm, I don't know…" She replied, putting her thin arms around me as well.

"…what should I do?" I asked, suddenly a little nervous. What if she got sick? She pulled away just enough to look into my eyes and whisper, "This…", then did something most unexpected. She leaned forward and kissed me. Soon, both our towels fell around our ankles, our clothes being the next casualties, then our defenses…and our hearts were the last to fall…

_tbc_

_r&r_

_thank you so much Vega and all other reviewers, means a lot._


	10. ShipWrecked Hearts

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

10: Ship-Wrecked Hearts

When I woke up the sun had not quite risen, instead it seemed to have stalled out about halfway in the sky, washing everything in a barely there yellow glow. I yawned and stretched, then merely lay there and watched Ashley, her body softly rising and falling with each breath, the covers having inched down her back to crinkle up just under her shoulder blades. I reached out before I could help myself, thinking to move them back up when my skin brushed across hers and my heart leapt into my throat. She was burning up! Instantly I sat up, running my fingers quickly through my hair as my mind raced. Her medication! I'd forgotten to give it to her last night! My face immediately turned red in a blast of short-term memories and long-term guilt. I jumped out of bed a second later, yanking on my shirt and shorts, then bending to pick up Ashley's bag and grab the right bottles out of it. Panicked, I double, triple, quadruple checked the dosage and instructions, then snatched a bottle of water off the dresser and knelt by Ashley's side.

"Ash, Ash wake up. Please." I pleaded, shaking her as gently as I could. Her eyes opened a minute or two later and I breathed for what felt like the first time in forever as she merely gave me a look, then sat up.

"Spencer…it's six o'clock in the morning." She croaked and I nodded, ashen faced.

"You didn't take these last night." I announced tightly, holding out the pills and she merely rolled her eyes, flopping back over.

"I'll be fine, now hurry up and c-c-come back to b-bed." She said through a yawn.

"You have a fever!" I blurted and she shrugged.

"I always do." I shook her again and she took one look at my face, then grabbed the pilled and downed them while I looked on. "Happy now?" I stayed where I was at the side of the bed, worrying my bottom lip to shreds as she reached for me.

"Spencer, come on, don't worry about it." She begged, moving to pull me up to the bed. My eyes roved over her worriedly, noticing the new multitude of little bruises that hadn't been there last night, and flushing fiercely. I took her into my arms, trying to think of anything but having to go back to the hospital, to leave her there and jet off to work, an hour late and a lifetime sorry. She shook a little in my embrace and I only tightened my hold, realization sinking in. Ashley was sick, and she wasn't getting better.

I tried not to cry, if only for her sake, even though my heart was being cut to ribbons on the sharp shoals of reality. I never wanted to sleep more than at that moment, to drift away from it all with her and live in a dream world where we could be happy forever.

"I'll be fine." She said gently as we were packing up the car forty minutes and a good shower later. I dropped the camera I was holding, not breathing for a second until I realized that it was just my crappy decade old one. I stared at the shimmering pieces of the frame, the tiny fragments set ablaze by the morning sun and burning into the asphalt, before I turned around.

"…I hope so…" I whispered in reply.

"Ready to ride? Geez you look beat Spence." Sean announced as soon as I climbed into the van, my uniform buttoned incorrectly and my shoes untied.

"What's the assignment?" I croaked, downing my cup of coffee and attempting to look alive.

"Domestic dispute, west side of town, possible broken bones. Suspect apprehended already." Kasey rattled off monotonously as he flipped the sirens on and peeled out of the parking lot. "Set up the splints and the ice packs." He added in an equally bored tone. I just sat back on the hard side bench and waited as we dashed through town. It was only once I'd stepped out of the van again did I realize that we were parked in front of Glen's house, and that my brother was sitting on the curb, handcuffed and crying silently. My heart stopped for a full minute as I took in the scene, then I heard my nephew bawling from somewhere inside and I ran past everyone, sprinting into the house and sinking to my knees in relief a moment later. Kenzie sat on the couch, as battered as I had ever seen her, and rocking Blake, who was sporting a thin cut on his cheek and sobbing loudly. Forcing myself up from the floor as the others came in I took my nephew and let them coax Kenzie onto a stretcher, holding him so tightly that Sean tapped me on the shoulder and told me to relax before I started inflicting damage. Blake wasn't having it though and clung to me as I tightly as I to him, burying his face in my neck and crying inconsolably.

"You know these people?" Kasey asked gently as we wheeled Kenzie out to the van. I didn't answer 'cause I knew he'd send me home if I did. I just kept my hold on Blake and climbed in with the rest of the team, watching as they set to work cleaning and wrapping Kenzie's wounds, then getting to work on setting her ribs. Three of them were broken. Me and Glen's gazes caught for just one second as we prepared to race off for the hospital and I realized with a breath snatching jolt that if I could've killed him, I would.

A little while after we reached the hospital Blake was picked up by my parents, who could only shake their heads in disbelief and wonder where it all went wrong. Kenzie decided it would be better not to tell Laura, who was a prosecuting attorney.

"What'd you do this time?" I asked once everyone was gone, Kasey having let me clock out early and change back into plainclothes. By now Kenzie had had her x-rays and everything, filled out all the necessary reports, the only thing she had left to do was meet with the hospital appointed social worker in an hour or two and she was finally on enough temporary painkillers to merit conversation.

"…I don't wanna fight with you Spencer." She replied in a barely audible voice.

"Is this enough?" I asked intensely, pressing on despite her announcement.

"Just leave me alone…please…" She whispered, starting to cry even as she looked away from me.

"Fine." I replied, turning on my heel and leaving. I didn't understand how this couldn't be the final straw, how this couldn't possibly be enough to convince her that staying with him was just a death wish. And he'd hurt Blake this time, he'd punched his two year old son in the face and just walked away, and she still thought they could work things out?! My fists balled up at my sides and I whirled, punching a random wall in some even more random hall before sliding down it and to the floor, the tears coming hot and fast whether I wanted them to or not. I don't know how long I stayed there but I know that by the time a nurse asked me if I was okay the sun was hanging low in the sky and the hall lights had been turned on to 100.

"I'm f-fine." I stammered, stumbling to a standing position before shuffling out of the hospital, and, like my parents, wondering where it all went wrong…

_tbc_

_r&r_


	11. Children

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

11: Children

I tossed and turned all night, slipping in and out of nightmares, kicking my covers off only to be shivering ten minutes later and bundle myself back up again. I wondered what was wrong with me. Had I gotten sick too? Or was I just a nervous wreck? As I flopped over onto my back and stared at the ceiling I decided on the latter. I finally realized that I was scared to death. Scared for Kenzie and Glen, scared for Blake, scared for Ashley, scared for myself…

Eventually the sun came up and with its first rays I jumped out of bed and into the shower, then flew out of the apartment building and into my car. I needed to see her…I just couldn't figure out which 'her'. Fate and my low gas tank brought me to Ashley first…and I wasn't one to mess with destiny.

It all seemed so normal as I walked through the lobby, my dirty sneakers shuffling across the over-waxed floors and into an equally shiny elevator, the knobs and buttons yet to turn that dingy yellow color that they always seemed to on other lifts. I got to Ashley's floor and as usual it was bursting with a rainbow of flowers and sunshine pouring out of every room. Then I got to Ashley's door, and I stopped.

It was closed…for the first time…ever.

I took in a breath, then knocked heartily, hoping she'd pop up on the other side, bouncing and full of energy. In fact, I'd even take her tired and Treatment-weary, I just needed her. She wasn't what I got though, I was met with a much more hostile face. Aiden swung the door open, his cheeks tear-stained and usually bright green eyes filled with red cracks. I tried to look past him, into the room, but he shoved me backwards back out into the hall, stepping out and slamming the door shut behind him.

"You." He announced in as dangerous a tone as I'd ever heard him use.

"Is Ashley okay?!" I blurted and he gave me a look that made me feel like he could burst into tears or murder me in cold blood right there. It was so confused, so angry, so sad, so desperate. He seemed to settle on the both options and grabbed me by my shirt collar, shaking me unenthusiastically before collapsing and starting to cry. "You, you did this to her…" He said in a broken voice and now I couldn't care less, I pushed past him, dodging his efforts to stop me, and ran into her room.

The first thing I noticed was that it was deathly quiet as I padded through the room, passing the book pile and almost slipping on something soft lying on the floor. I bent over and slowly picked up the item to find that it was a cut-off glove, originally black but now grey with dust and lint. I cradled it to me, continuing even more warily to her bedside…and finally I looked at her. An oxygen mask covered her beautiful face, which looked sallow and gaunt instead of vibrant and animated. My breath caught as my eyes traced the maze of wires and drips attached to her, a myriad of machines buzzing away like an angry swarm. I took in the sight of her, trying to convince myself that she'd wake up any second now and say "hey there stranger" or some such greeting but nothing came.

Aiden grabbed me and dragged me out of the room just as that icy cold wave of reality hit me and I was too numb to fight back. He slammed the door shut again and just left me standing there.

"You have to end this." I pleaded with Kenzie, who had just stared at me as I stood in her hospital room and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Spencer, are you okay?" She asked gently for the fourth time and I nodded vehemently again, lied again.

"J-just promise me this is it." I begged, not thinking that I could stand to see this girl that I had loved with all of myself hooked up to all those buzzing machines…an oxygen mask over her face…I started to cry even harder. Kenzie looked at me, then at her son, who was happily pounding away at a Gameboy, all of yesterday apparently forgotten.

"…I still don't know." She replied, picking the bright ring up off her hospital table and observing it. I just shook my head and left, done with it all…

Buried under my covers I wept. It was the most I'd cried in such a long time, and it didn't feel good at all. I was trying not to let myself think her name, or her face, or her body…tried not to hear her laugh or see her smile…When I couldn't stand it anymore I would get up and watch TV, or walk aimlessly around my neighborhood, my hair sticking up at all angles and my face puffy and red. I'm sure I got a lot of stares, but I was also certain that I didn't care. Night came, and went, days passed. I skipped work, got yelled at by Kasey, then took an emergency leave. There was no way I could go back, not when I was like this. I never wanted to see any machines again, the ones that blipped and beeped and reminded me just how much I wanted to die with her, to lay at her side and feel the same blackness envelop me, never to lift again. But then I would try to be positive, to tell myself that it wasn't that bad. She wasn't in a coma, and she wasn't dead, she was just sick and she would certainly get better…she'd at least return to the way she was…she had to…

I was hazily trudging through my apartment on the final night of summer when someone knocked at my door. Blearily I opened it to find her on the other side, propped up on crutches but looking much better for all the wear and tear.

"…I choose you." She said softly as I let her into the darkened space. "I've made up my mind."

"…where's Blake?" I croaked, my heart and throat constricting.

"At my mom's." She replied, gingerly laying the crutches against the side of the wall and reaching for me.

"…you look terrible Spencerbear." She whispered against my neck, resorting to her childhood nickname for me…she always said I looked just like a teddy-bear…I blankly stayed in her embrace, not feeling any warmth, nothing but a body, one that I knew and didn't want to know anymore, it wasn't the one I yearned for. She hugged me tighter and I closed my eyes, picturing someone else, and then it became all right. I could just keep dreaming through life, pretending Kenzie was someone else…pretending she was her…and then everything would be alright…

_tbc_

_r&r_


	12. The Hourglass

Where the Sky Meets the Sea

12: The Hourglass

Aiden apologized soon after, claimed that he hadn't been in the right mind, and that he was terribly sorry if he hurt me. He said that Ashley was just as much mine as she was his, and that she loved me. It made me cry. Again.

I came every day after that, I brought her flowers, and shells from the beach, and stupid little sea-themed stuffed animals, but most of all I brought her books. Kid's books, romance novels, political works, it didn't matter. If I thought she would like it I bought it and placed it upon the pile. As the days, weeks, months passed the pile got too big for the little hospital table, so I piled them up near it, an impromptu memorial to the girl who'd changed my life in such a short amount of time. I talked to her sometimes, told her how things were going, told her that things were complicated. I was with Kenzie, but only because I felt like she wasn't strong enough yet, she still needed me. When the time came I'd let her go.

I grilled all the doctors that came in and out, hired by her parents, who were always too busy to come. They told me it didn't look good, that she was trapped somewhere dark and desolate. It made my heart ache for her, and me. Eventually I stopped laying down next to her and holding her hands, instead I resigned myself to the bedside chair. Then I stopped sitting there and only came to stand at the doorway and glance upon the love that I'd lost. I went back to work and saw more horrific things. Kenzie and I moved in together. Glen was sentenced to a few months in prison, then probation. He wouldn't be allowed to be near them for a very long while. Time didn't stop for me, or the rest of the world, just for her.

"Aunty Spencer, can we go 'quarium?" Blake babbled to me as I was cleaning the apartment some random Saturday afternoon. I smiled at him, but shook my head gently.

"No honey, your aunty doesn't like it there." I replied, continuing my dusting off of the TV.

"Why not?" He pouted, folding his little arms over his chest just as his mother walked into the room. She beamed at me and I wondered why she was so happy but didn't question it until she sent Blake up to his room, setting up the Gamecube for him.

"What're you up to?" I asked suspiciously as she sidled back into the room, flouncing onto the couch.

"Look what I found." She announced, holding out a little black velvet box. Instantly my face fell. Her engagement ring. I thought she'd gotten rid of it a while ago.

"When are you going to throw that thing away?" I asked, more than a little hurt that she'd kept it.

"Hmm, I don't know. Wanna see what it looks like? You know, for old times sake?" My eyes narrowed again as she flipped the box open, then they widened considerably. It was a totally different ring! Realization started to creep in as she stood up and walked over to me.

"Marry me Spencer?" She asked happily as a brute knock came at the door.

"Uhm…I…" I was floored and, inexplicably, devastated. This was the last thing I ever wanted but God, the way she was looking at me…What was I going to say? That I was in love with a glorified corpse? That I couldn't possible marry her because my heart belonged to a girl who would be sleeping for the rest of her life? A girl that I visited every day on my breaks from work, who I spent all my money and misery on? Before I could get another word out the knock at the door got louder and more desperate and Kenzie and I looked at each other warily. Was it Glen? Had he somehow gotten out and came back to wreak vengeance?

To be on the safe side I was the one who went up and opened it gingerly, then nearly passed out as I saw who it was on the other side, outlined in the watery sunshine of winter and wearing only a sweater, a pair of jeans, and a single cut-off glove. She instantly jumped on me, hugging me so tightly that it knocked the breath out of me, or what little breath I had left.

"Spencer!!"

"A-Ashley?!" I stammered, holding her at arms length then running my hands over her face, her neck, down her arms and across her sides. It was her, it was really her! And she was healthy and whole and had never looked better.

"ASHLEY!!" I shouted, hugging her again then abruptly letting her go as Kenzie cleared her throat from behind me.

"Uhm…" I started as Ash grinned, sticking out her gloved hand.

"Ashley Davies, nice to meet you." She announced and Kenzie just glared in response.

"McKenzie Bryant, can I ask what you're doing all over my fiancée?" It got dead silent in a seconds time as both girls turned to look at me, one face crestfallen, the other angry.

"You…y-you're engaged?" Ash asked quietly, starting to back up.

"Ash, I didn't…I t-thought--" She interrupted my half-assed answer by whirling around and starting for the parking lot. I gave Kenzie an apologetic look then started after her. I didn't have to say anything or even reach for her, she turned right around and looked at me.

"…so that's why you stopped coming…" She said softly once we were alone and my jaw dropped.

"You were awake?!!" I asked incredulously, my eyes embarrassingly starting to burn as my fists balled up at my sides, my life having officially been flipped over in just a few minutes time.

"Yes…and no. I don't know. But I did know you were there…" Her voice got even lower as she continued. "…you're the only other person that came, besides Aiden I mean, and he would just sit there and cry…"

"Ashley, I…" Couldn't think of anything to say. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to just hold her and never let her go again, but I knew I couldn't.

"Do you love her?" Ashley asked suddenly, fiercely, and I could feel Kenzie's eyes on my back. Yes…and no. I had loved her once, more than anything else in the world…but that had ended, what seemed like such a long time ago.

"I said, Do. You. Love. Her?" Ash didn't give me time to answer, instead she just grabbed me and kissed me deeply, letting me go only when neither of us could breathe and I took a step back from her, looking frantically back at the apartment where I knew Kenzie was watching us.

"I don't care what you say. I'm not giving up on you like you gave up on me!" Ash choked out and I felt a jolt. I had given up on her, had thought she was gone forever, and knew how it felt to have my heart ripped apart at the poorly sutured seams. I realized then that I needed her, I needed that warm feeling to fill in all the holes and gaps in my life.

I kissed her.

_tbc_

_r&r_


End file.
